Monday, January 29, 2007

So Awkward it Hurts

This paper hurts my face. I wish I could write the word "awk" all the way across it, but then it would be hard for you to read.

Grabbed by HC at the fishbowl.

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You may say "AHFB, are you sure this isn't an English as a second language student?" I thought the same thing, but I got on facebook and he's not an ESL student [someone I wouldn't make fun of].

Here's what's really ironic: he's a member of the facebook group "If I See Another Group Name With a Grammatical Error, I Will Flip a Shit"


Blogger AHFB said...

I realize that last paragraph probably signifies that this is a rough draft. Ok, fine. But do you really think that a paper written like this is really going to change any on its way to becoming a final draft?

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that makes me feel so much better about my writing

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Christine said...

that makes me feel so much better about my students' writing

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Jeremy said...

If someone ever said "in this facet" in everyday conversation with me, I would punch them in the face right then and there.

11:05 PM  
Blogger Joel said...

HA ha ha, this was such a good one. I love the idea of the mom/bird/robot. Here is some code she could run...

10 let responsibility = independency
20 if (strangers touch son):
goto 30, else 40
30 abandon son
40 print threat(rand())
50 if (!(fightingWithDad())):
goto 60, else 10
60 relationshipToSon = transmit(mine)
70 end

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the comments on this one were hilaaaarious. especially the bird, and go read a book about eating.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous dana khan said...

I have no idea what that paper was about, and have decided that any intelligible sense of the English language was beaten out of him as a child.

Also, I cannot express how much I really hate unnecessary punctuation in the form of " ". Sometimes, my boss writes " 'Have a great day!' " on the white board. What the fuck are those quotation marks doing there?

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also amusing was the last sentence of what seemed to be the real concluding paragraph. About raising a child that "together they can be proud of in the future."

"Pretty much everything you do now is crap, but one day I'll be proud of you."

2:44 PM  
Blogger AHFB said...

I also failed to circle the word "suprisingly"

boy I hate adverbs like that.

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh heyyyy

it's repetitive...not "repetative"

3:04 PM  
Blogger AHFB said...

one point for you, anonymous poster

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just wanted to point out that "oppositely" is indeed a good word, with attestations listed in the OED ranging from the 1500s to the 1990s.

"independency" made it in there too, but it went out of use a couple hundred years ago.

7:25 PM  
Blogger AHFB said...

Are the uses in the oed something like "oppositely charged particles" or as used in the paper?

I didn't think of it being used as above because I was too busy thinking of how ridiculous it sounded.

Thanks for the research ed

7:49 PM  
Blogger Joel said...

Hmm, that's funny. I use phrases like "oppositely-charged" all the time, but it did sound wrong when he used it for some reason.

11:32 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

"Read a book about eating" is the best thing ever.

3:01 AM  
Blogger MzCoko said...

*falls out laughing at group name*

11:48 AM  

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