Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Caribbean

Today's paper, written by a starting player for the Michigan football team, brings us banned phrase #02: "and etc," a phrase people use to escape a list of items. Read on to find out why people of different backgrounds in the Caribbean are able to get along.

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26 Comments:

Blogger Little Max said...

I have no words for that.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know how sometimes when you're stressed, you laugh way too hard at the first funny thing that comes along?

That just happened to me. Highlight of my day.

9:42 PM  
Anonymous heidi said...

That's totally like a D+ paper. ... ...

for an eighth grader.

oh, and p.s., does "bailey" = "barley" by any chance? sheesh.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite part is "X square miles long."

-Math major

11:19 PM  
Blogger AHFB said...

oh man I missed that (of course I'd probably have to read this 4 times over to get all the mistakes in this thing). That totally just supports my theory that its lifted out of an almanac.

Also, Anonymous, that reminds me of a short story I read last year where the a guy wrote that something flew past him at ticketable momentum

11:54 PM  
Anonymous ann arbor is overrated said...

Actually, I have always thought that there should be a momentum limit instead of a speed limit...

12:17 AM  
Blogger AHFB said...

Yeah, just the other day, this idiot flew by me going like 200kg*m/s over.

Also, i'd like to take this opportunity to call myself out on misspelling "transitioning"

12:25 AM  
Blogger Joel said...

I agree with first anonymous poster here... this made my day. I wish this guy had forgotten two copies so I could have one.

How much you want to bet that Professor McCorruptersen gives Donny Defensiveline an A.

1:44 AM  
Anonymous poly c said...

What shocks me is that this is for a 400-level class. WTF?

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't know the islands had a maximum capacity...
or that tigers and leopards lived in the wild in the caribbean...

oh man, what a find!!

12:43 PM  
Anonymous ko said...

this is just so, so sad.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Robert Beier said...

C'mon everyone, give this person credit...he knew all this stuff WITHOUT having to cite ANY sources! He's a veritable walking encyclopedia! Must have a photographic memory.

I think this is the best post thus far.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Julie said...

Yeah, this one is a gem. Or a mineral? I also really liked the islands having maximum capacities.

9:26 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

This is quite possibly the biggest jackpot you could ever imagine finding in those printers...

2:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been using the Internet for a long time, and as a result I've been desensitized to quite a few things.

This, however, made me cringe with renewed disgust. I knew our football players were being coddled, but is it really this bad? Almost everybody I know would have been embarassed to turn this in for a middle school social studies class, let alone a 400 level class at UM.

Ouch.

2:23 AM  
Anonymous wow college said...

that paper doesnt meet the basic requirements of a remedial 9th grade english class

2:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

very creative, but there doesn't seem to be a 414 class in the Afroamerican & African Studies (CAAS) department at UM, unless that's just another typo.

12:45 PM  
Blogger AHFB said...

Yeah, I looked it up too; you're right, theres no CAAS 414 class in the LSA course guide.
But to all you people saying this paper is fabricated? You're ridiculous: like I could make crap like this up. Nothing on this site is made up.

10:00 PM  
Blogger AHFB said...

Upon reading the Hawkeyes message board that linked to this entry, I'm sure its gotta be CAAS 444 which is crosslisted as ANTHRCUL 414.It's
"Introduction to Caribbean Societies and Cultures." The prof (blurred here) matches.

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can we get a repost of this? imageshack took it down.

7:53 PM  
Blogger AHFB said...

I've added an image socket mirror--thanks for the heads up. Too many people have been direct linking the image.

8:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought it was CAAS 444 too. I've had that professor. He is a tough grader and he is definitely not the type to play favorites with football players, so this guy is screwed. I'm sure it was a failing paper.

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Wow I came across this late, but... I'm in this class and I can probably guess who wrote it (though there are probably 15-20 football players in the class). That being said, I do feel the need to rebuttal a few things here:

1) "The Archipelagos" - that's how our goofy professor referred to them, not a sign of the author's lack of intelligence

2) CAAS 414 = AnthroCul 414, which is what it's listed as in the course guide

3) The Bahamas is just one entity, so using "is" in referrence is actually accurate

4) The random map was actually a requirement of the assignment

5) "Professor McCorruptersen gives Donny Defensiveline an A"... definitely not. I wrote a fairly decent paper (albeit put together rather last-minute) and was actually graded pretty harsh. I'm betting this paper probably got no better than a D

6) Anthropology is organized weird at this university, and this class is no exception - it's a 400 level class but it's really not, in that there are no prerequsites and I don't think a single person in the class was an anthopology major

...there was probably more I could've commented on, but I got bored reading the paper (and I took this class!). I don't really blame him for slapping together a piece of crap - our professor literally spoon-fed us every fact for that paper and we were all just regurgitating them. This paper was probably a million times more boring to have to write than to read.

1:41 AM  
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9:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, just figured out why UMich wait listed me...they just had to let this genius in on the first rounds. I feel so much better now.

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Columbus sailed from Spain and Portugal, not England. Europe is pretty much all the same, right?

12:55 AM  

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