posted by AHFB at 4:35 PM
Oh dear God.
There's a lot of illogic on page eleven. Why are the blackberries tart (did he write 'tartar'?) after hot summers? And how did they manage to grow in a field in the same location as a cement plant?Goddamn these inconsistencies!
I remember from reading 'The Most Dangerous Game' in highschool that Tartar can mean 'an unexpected bonus.'Anyway:For the first time since I started reading this blog Im going to have to disagree and say that this story might have some actual potential! The conflict comes from the Porter who harbors resentment at the development of his town and the loss of his home and is subjecting this guest to his ire. It may not be fantastic, but it certainly doesn't seem awful.Then again, I am only seeing two of the eleven pages.
I agree with little max, it has potential. I definitely like the idea behind it and maybe I'll use it one day. Although I think I'd get bored after three or four pages.
Also, tartar is a synonym for calculus, and alternative spelling for the klan name of a group of people from Central Asia.LEIK SRSLY
no no, see, you're falling into the same trap that I did. I too was like "hey cool" but then he continues to be all tour-guide on you. Oh, built in the 1900's you say? Marvelous.Ok, maybe it does get cool, but it certainly wasn't cool by page 4, and that was long enough for me
p.s. i think the government said that everyone in the country had to read the most dangerous game in hs or something
i dont think i read the most dangerous game...
Sounds like a taxi driver I had onece."The Most Dangerous Game" was my favorite short story I read in high school. They really need to make that into a video game... or a real game. Everyone else was forced to read it too. Huzzah uniformity!
"..remember the juice that bursts from the berries, for you will never taste that again."Now the story's going someplace! That last line sounds threatening. I hope that the Porter poisoned the dessert.
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